Monday, July 07, 2008
i feel so disappointed tat i am born in tis family of mine...once again..i visited the hospital..seeing my mum trying to kill herself again..
to save,i tried by climbing thru the window and finally she decided to open the door..i saw blood on her wrist and she fainted due to overdose of sleeping pills.luckily i get hold of her..
we called the ambulance and she was been rushed to nuh.
doctor ask us to go home first so we did and we reach home at 4am..mum called us at 5 plus 6 and start to make things bigger and bigger..she insist to be discharge..we got no choice but to rush down to the hospital..she cried,scolded,and cursed everyone she see especially mi,my sis and my dad..including the doctors..everyone in the hospital noes her le..feel so hopeles and helpless..we cant cancel the genting trip so we still went to genting..
the weather was cooling and refreshing..
but we didn enjoy the amount of time we spent there..cause its so limited..
totally knock out at around 10 plus..and woke up at 12.45 am to catch the movie "WANTED"
crazy rite..sleep halfway then wake up watch movie..haha
it was a nice one..but we love it..expect for my cousin who snored thru out the movie..
didn manage to go outdoor due to the cloudy weather and the limited of time given..sis and cousin went to casino(a must for them)while mi and baby went around to shop..
on our way back..things were screw up..its a long story..so'guess it yourself..haha
we senses something wrong..cause we nv heard anything from my parents..we called them and then found out tat thing there were getting pretty serious..mum wanted to jump off the building once again..worst..tis time at my auntie house..and my dad had some misunderstanding with my auntie..
tis time round so many ppl are involve..my uncle,three auntie,my dad,my mum and my grandma..from wat i heard is my grandma also cry..
i was super piss..they ask tat woman out without mi and my sister there..when problem comes onli we are the one settling it..and now..such a big thing..we didn even noe about it..
think now they finally noe how it feels like when my mum start her suciding thoughts..they been thru it one day..but for us is 4 years..
i have no face to face my cousins and relatives le..
its mean ..but if i noe tis kind if things will happen in my family.i will rather not born into tis family..but since i am here..its my responsiblitily to take care and hold tis family together..afterall..i still love them so so much!things have been changing lately..be it my family,friends,or bf..
baby..i am sorri..
my heart says yes,nv give up
but my mind says no..
and sadly..
i cant change the fact tat i always follow my mind when i do or handle things..
i have tons of things tat i wanna to tell you..and tons of emotions and feelings i am feeling and facing thru rite now..
don doubt mi,from wat you are feeling now..i am facing exactly the same feelings and i didn feel better at all..!
perharps..it will be the last one
my new tatoo!!
super tired..dead on bed!
10:11 PM
